Things still aren’t what I’d like them to be sleep wise with Savannah. It’s a constant struggle. Either she’s whiny all day because she wouldn’t settle down for her much needed nap, or she’s up a bazillion times a night needing me to put her back to sleep via nursing or rocking. The mommy shift never ends, folks (neither does the laundry. God help me and my mountains of laundry).
I know, I know. She needs to learn how to fall asleep on her own, I agree. But, you try telling that to my 8 month old. I need more tactics to attack this issue (my book I ordered needs to arrive!). Tonight though, as I was rocking her to sleep, her head resting on my shoulder as she dozed off, I had joy in my heart. To be honest, lately, these many times I have had to go back in her room (again) to calm her down (again) and coerce her to sleep (again), it gets taxing. It gets frustrating. It leads to a not so happy and nice mommy.
Tonight though, as I said, I found joy. It was a moment, for a change, that I just didn’t want to let her go. It was one of those moments that made you sit back and say, “Hey, life really IS good! Look at this precious girl I have in my arms. Look at this bond we have, the love I have for her.” What really got me enjoying the moment? This won’t last forever. Enjoy it. Before long she’ll be too big and too independent to want to be held like this, and definitely won’t be nursing any longer.
My heart was swelling with pride for this sweet, sleeping girl that trusted me enough to put her to sleep. She trusts me with her life. That’s quite an honor. I sat there as I rocked and prayed that I could remember this moment and feel that joy, even at that 1 am, 3 am, 5am or whatever other time she decides to wake up that doesn’t ‘fit’ into my idea of a good night’s sleep.
I decided I’d much rather feel joy for this child of mine, and be tired, rather than be angry and tired (Granted, I have been at school all day long and have been missing her, so we’ll see how the middle of the night wakings affect me). There comes a point when we have to realize the situation isn’t going to change quite yet, so we’ve got to make the change within our selves. It’s like that song that says that sometimes God calms the storm, and sometimes he calms His child.
Treasure your moments, whether you have children or not, it won’t last forever!
