I’ve come to the conclusion that as much as I want to write for my career and to be paid for writing, it’s not going to happen until it’s the complete opposite. Meaning, it’s not going to happen until it’s not about me anymore and about making money, but it’s about God’s glory.
In the past few years as I’ve become more and more immersed in the internet, I’ve watched friends create their own sites, their own blogs with their own domain names. I’ve watched them bring in paid ads and get paid to make weekly and daily posts in a specific area in blogs. They get paid to do what they love, what I love. Some get the opportunity to be a work-at-home-mom. Don’t get me wrong, I am so incredibly happy for these people but it always gets to wondering, “Well, why can’t I do that?” So I try. You’ll see on the left Associated Content, one of my attempts to be paid for writing. It does pay, and I can write practically whatever I want, but I definitely can’t make a living of that. Most importantly, it’s not even what I love. A lot of the sites advertising to pay for your writing do pay, but you write about complete crap!
This right here is what I love. I love being able to just write what I want, to share my experiences, what I’ve learned in this short but full life of mine, to be honest and real. To just be me. Why can’t a career be built out of that? It just doesn’t work. At least not now. Or, that’s the doubter side of me that pushes down my dreams.
I’ve often contemplated buying my own domain, it wouldn’t cost much, but it’s more than we can spare right now. I should be happy with this free blog of mine. And, there is also the issue of I have no idea how to work the technical part of a website, there wouldn’t even be a point to own one if I didn’t know how to use it! Are there classes for that? Still, a part of me hopes to have that one day, and know how to work it.
Of course, there is the ultimate dream of writing a book and having it published one day. The problem there? Not only is finding a publisher that doesn’t put me in debt a scary idea, but the thought of actually writing a whole book, mulling over it again and again to get it just right, and where to find the time? And, there is part of me that only wants to be published because of money, even though it probably wouldn’t make much anyway unless I end up on Oprah’s book list or something. See, that drive for money is an issue and that is what holds me back. It’s not how I want to go about these things. I know it’s not how God wants me to think about things, especially about the plans for my life.
Until then, this is me, laying those dreams down. God has His plan and I’ll continue to write for free for the glory of God, and be content (that’s the key!). I do find joy in this online space of mine. I sure do.
As a side note: It’s funny how the closer I am to Christ, the more freely topics and writing comes to me. I could easily hit”Publish” to this post and start another on a completely different topic. Oh, how I love these moments! Writing frees my soul.
